first Post

It took a lot of work for the first words to be written on this blogspace. Even now, I write with fear, not knowing if my work will be saved, or if I would have wasted hours attempting to scratch an itch that should be left alone. However, I won’t look at this as time wasted or lost. The whole point of this excursion is to learn new things and make mistakes. Too often are we hindered by perfection or fear of the worst, but you don’t make corner kicks if you don’t shoot them in the practice room. So, here I am, leaving the words to flow down my conscious, as first attempts of digital creation.

First order of business, has anyone else tried to make a blog before? I feel like the process was really for old heads and computer nerds. I started the process late at night, working till the early hours of the day. Losing sleep over template adjustments and customization. All for my work to be erased and forgotten. I finally took myself to sleep, coming back the next day to finally write some words down. I guess this reads more like a diary/journal, and that’s really alright with me.

Part of what stops me, or anyone that thinks like me, why would we want to willingly add to our digital footprint. Friends are too conscious of being digitally aware of what they can and can’t do online (mainly for employment reasons) that I believe it leads to the masses feeling like they live in George Orwell’s 1984. under the constant watch of BB (big brother). But this is my first break, out of that mindset — that way of thinking. Sure it’s probably a symptom of another underlying issue, (anxiety being the main culprit), but the point is to try something new and getting out of my comfort zone. I have plenty of coworkers who are honestly inspirations, chasing their passions of music-making and playing, that I applaud and am immensely respectful of their craft. Unfortunately, I do not currently hold those same skills, but thats okay!

Life post-grad can become an empty space. A void. A fall into the abyss. For that reason, my search for meaning has lead me here. I’ve been looking for what makes me tick, what brings me joy, what brings me passion, and what I will want to get up and want to do for myself, and myself alone. I’ve been looking to breakdown systems to see how to rebuild them and leverage them for myself. I see this blogspace experience as a way to connect with others, who feel lost on their path, or would like to hear the voice of someone else doing something different, or simply an excuse for me to express myself in the most peculiar way. Idk, none of it and all of it have meaning at the same time! Writing this, it does feel like the ramblings of a crazy guy, however, the way I see it, this is a blob of clay, and I’m figuring out how I want to sculpt it. The broad brushstrokes are the words, the content, my delivery to the web. I’ve always liked the idea of previous authors, sitting down and clacking away at their typewriters creating novels and stories to make a living. Unfortunately, it feels like a lot of writers of old are celebrated more posthumously then they are when they are alive.

Today, there are plenty of modern authors and writers that are inspirational for doing what has been done for thousands of years, today in the modern world. I take inspiration from authors and writers like Mark Manson, James Clear, and Cal Newport, all authors with strong messages in great books, that also seem to have an online presence. Sure it’s a bit corny for a guy to like a book titled, “The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck”, but the messaging in a lot of self-help books is meant for someone like me, with an anxious mind and fear to try something new. 

There’s plenty we can learn from YouTube nowadays. Hell, we can learn from Instagram Reels everything that is going on in geopolitics, a new cooking recipe, how to build a flamethrower, new brainrot lore and terminology, someone doing something for money on the street, and house diys all within a 10 reel scroll on Instagram. The problem with all this information, it’s quite frankly too much. We’re getting fed so much content, we’ve solely become content consumers and no content creation. That’s why I reached my breaking point. With all the time in the world out of college, with my time solely going into a restaurant serving job, while I’m slowly boiling and cooking myself into the next, better version of myself, I set out to offer my own slop to the world. (this of course, isn’t the goal, but it’s how I feel about the poor souls who took the time to read this, thank you :)). Once again, you don’t make the backwards spinning bicycle kick or the full court buzzer beating shot during the game if you didn’t drill it during practice, (actually, sometimes they do, and it’s always crazy when we find the clip of a high schooler throwing a miraculous buzzer beater full court shot). So that’s what this is at the end of the day, it’s practice. It’s putting the reps into something new and building the muscle to show off new skill & strength.

If you’ve read till this point, thank you for reading, this is the first of hopefully several posts as I learn something new and start building an online presence and personality. Future posts should hopefully have a more direct message, however, if the scrambled notes work, I dont mind sharing those either, lol. I guess my current goal is to try to acquire an audience for this writing, even if I don’t as long as I’m working on it, I think I’ll be satisfied. I’d like to do topics on personal finances, post-grad life, career aspirations, daily challenges, fitness, trying new things, and most importantly, dream-chasing. If anything like that is of any interest tune back in and hopefully watch this thing unfold crazy-style. Otherwise, I might have to nip this in the bud 🙁